You want to try something new or you have a great idea, but that voice inside your head tells you that “you’re not good enough”, “you’ll never be successful”, or “it’ll never work”. Soon, you decide not to give it a go at all.
Self doubt is a destructive feeling that sneaks up on all of us. There’s not a person around who hasn’t experienced a degree of self doubt at some time in their lives. Even the most successful people sometimes doubt themselves – but they’ve learnt how to deal with it and still get on with achieving their goals.
Good news is that it’s perfectly possible to beat self doubt and set yourself free to do great things… with the right techniques and a bit of practice.
A Little Self Doubt Can be Healthy
Feeling self doubt is totally normal. Feeling it, however, does not mean that you’re going to fail. Self doubt can make us stop and think hard about a course of action we want to take. It’s good when we ask ourselves whether we need to improve our knowledge and skills in order to help us succeed at something. It’s not so good, however, when that self doubt causes a complete lack of faith in our own abilities and is then used as an excuse for not taking action.
Too Much Self Doubt is Damaging
Self doubt is like a thief – it steals the possibilities from your life. It makes your experience of being alive much less rich because you don’t take risks; it takes away your desire to achieve anything much of value, and it lessens the joy you could have from living a full life… leaving you unhappy and poorer in spirit because you really know you could be more, do more, and give so much more.
So, how do we stop self-doubt from sabotaging our goals and ambitions? Here are a few techniques and tips for you to try out next time it appears:
Believe in Yourself
Want to know something, a fact you might have forgotten because no one’s told you for a while? You are a unique and talented person with the potential to be successful. Sounds cheesy? I don’t mind, because it happens to be a reality. Accepting this as a statement of truth is the foundation of beating self doubt. Believe it.
Watch Out for Doubt
We can be quite happily going about our business, feeling good about ourselves and optimistic about what we can achieve, when – from out of nowhere – some rogue thoughts like these ones creep up on us:
I’m not worthy…
I can’t do it…
It’s impossible for me…
I’d like to try it but…
I don’t deserve this…
These kind of phrases usually show a wavering of our confidence. Be aware of when these thoughts strike and try to pinpoint what type of situation prompts them. Once you learn to spot these phrases and see them objectively for what they are, you can work to minimise their effects on you.
Recognise Your Doubt
The first step in defeating self doubt is not to ignore it or pretend it will go away. It’s impossible to defeat a problem unless you acknowledge it exists and bring it out into the open. Instead, we need to face our self doubt full on and see it for what it is – a form of fear to be conquered. It’s only by recognising this fear that we can get on with what needs to be done, in spite of it.
Doubts go round and round in our heads like the dirt in a vacuum cleaner, the same old stuff getting stuck again and again. It can help to get these thoughts out in the open by writing down any doubts and fears that come to mind.
Examine Your Doubt
Now that you’ve acknowledged the self doubt, you can begin to identify what triggers it. There is often a pattern to the way we feel, with similar situations sparking off the same emotions in us. Look for a specific area of your life that always creates a sense of uncertainty in you. Work out what factors set off those doubts.
When did these negative feelings first start? Perhaps, you got turned down when you asked out that pretty guy or girl on a date in junior high school. Or, maybe someone criticised your work many years ago. It could be you’ve carried these feelings with you to this day and still give them the power to knock your confidence.
Take Action
The most effective antidote to self doubt is to take action. That might sound obvious, but it isn’t quite so simple when you don’t believe in your abilities. The solution to this is to devise a plan on how you’ll reach your goal. The key is in the preparation: you might need to study and learn further information or train and practice with a new skill. By preparing yourself, when self doubt appears you can be reassured that: “I’m ready for this moment. I can do it”.
When you do start off on the journey to achieving your goal, take small steps to ease yourself in. Rome wasn’t built in a day so don’t take on too much. As you start seeing results your confidence will increase and you can tackle larger parts of your plan. Nothing breeds confidence like a little success!
Get Fired Up
Spend some time reminding yourself of your dream and why it’s so important to you. Imagine you’re living your ideal result: how does it make you feel? Excited, energized, full of passion? Let yourself be flooded with positive emotions. Make a note of how you can use your strengths and abilities to achieve this perfect situation. You can refer to these notes when you are faced with self doubt. It’s your vision: don’t let anyone or anything – including doubt – stop you from turning it into a reality.
Appreciate Your Accomplishments
Whenever I’m confronted with self doubt, one tactic that helps me is to devote some time and space to reflect on the things I’ve already achieved and succeeded at. I let the positive memories play around in my mind until my mood changes and I start feeling better. These don’t have to be on a grand scale to matter – those little ‘wins’ count too.
Keep a Record of Achievement
It’s useful to have a ready supply of ‘feelgood’ reminders to hand. Try keeping a diary or journal in which you write down a list of all the things you achieve on a daily basis. Looking back over this will help you keep track of what you can do, rather than highlighting what you didn’t do.
Surround Yourself With Supporters
It often helps to discuss your fears and doubts with people you are close to. Other folk are much more likely to be objective about your feelings and their advice and encouragement can help cut through your insecurities.
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
Finally, here’s the bottom line…you’re only human so you’re bound to fail at some things and succeed at others. We all make mistakes, so accept it and don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead of being knocked down by them, use these mistakes to guide you to improve next time you try. Learn to forgive yourself for failing and don’t replay your mistakes over and over in your mind. This is a waste of time and simply serves to keep you trapped in the frustrating cycle of self doubt.
You can’t avoid self doubt as it’s a natural reaction to pursuing your dreams and stretching beyond the limits of the life you’re accustomed to. But, self doubt shouldn’t be the reason to stop trying to live as fully and as breathtakingly as you can.
When you next come face-to-face with self doubt, recognise it and take a few minutes to readjust your focus using the tips and techniques suggested above. Then, you can stare it down and still have the confidence to move onwards to achieving your goals.